(via imgTumble)
(Source: you-dont-compare, via youthinkyoubadhuh)
It’s so overwhelming.
My hatred for myself easily transfers to hate for others.
I despise this monster I’ve become.
I can’t wait to escape.
(Source: butterflysupport-anon)
And I know what it feels like to be so low you almost feel the air hardening
And I know what it feels like to have the pit of your stomach tighten and clench as you look at the wounds you’ve created
And I know what it feels like to have a rush of shame and disappointment flooding your mind body and soul all at once
I know what it feels like to slit your own wrists
And I know what it feels like to want to do it again
But please, please, please don’t.
I know I’m a hypocrite and I know I’m a liar. I’ve said to you that I won’t do it again, that I’ll refrain from cutting for you, but I wasn’t strong enough. I need you to be strong enough. I can’t see you get sucked into this, too.
Cutting is worse than any drug. The first time you do it, you’re shameful and feel dirty and violated and hurt, and the thing is you did it to yourself- there’s no one to blame but you. But there are other driving forces.
Even once I found my reason for cutting, which I didn’t didn’t find until a year into heavily cutting, I couldn’t stop. I was too far in, too addicted. The adrenaline and the rush and the release, I never thought I could find it anywhere else.
I’m sorry I’ve been such a bad influence on you. I never wanted this to happen.
I know what it feels like to want to do it again, to crave it even.
I’m begging you not to, I can’t see this happen to you. I can’t see you hurt yourself this way. You’ll be hurting me too if you continue.
Be strong for me, and I’ll be strong for you.
You are the earth beneath my feet, you are my gravity.
(Source: morahei, via pixieintrippyland)
(via xbeautifuldeathx)
I feel like I’m falling into the temptations of the devil. I’m afraid of who I’ve become and what I do. My mind is so sick it terrifies me. Those words and thoughts are so sick, they aren’t mine, they don’t belong to me. But they won’t leave, not even when I release them.
My depression turns from sadness to fear to anger. And they aren just like sad moments or anger management, it’s like I get so angry I want to rip off my skin, I want to tear off my nails, I want to turn my throat inside out, I want to saw off my cellulite, I want to bite into my skin so hard that it bleeds excessively. Everywhere.
I hate my mind. It scares me so much
(via bloodstainedarms)
(via bloodstainedarms)
(via bloodstainedarms)
You invite me into your family, ask me to sleep in your home, and them ask if I’d move with you to Georgia. I told you everything and I felt so connected, I knew it was too good to be true. I knew I wanted this too bad.
You act like you don’t even want me around anymore, and you seem annoyed that I still come to your house to help with the boys.
If you don’t want me to come with you to Georgia, it’s not too late to say so- but I’d prefer you just say it.
I feel ashamed for thinking about what you guys might want as a family, temporarily and long term, but I thought you had figured that out.
I feel so stupid and unwanted. Why do you ahit me out like this. All I’ve wanted was a family, and when I start to get comfortable I’m rejected.
I can’t believe I fell for this trick.
This hurts so bad
Anonymous: you're such a beautiful writer. I could read you forever.
Thank you, I really wish I could write like I used to- but I still really appreciate that (:
omg I love this.
Pure beauty.
(Source: shesbombb)
(Source: cutbeneathourhands, via brihopeless)
